Camar-oh no

For months, we have been fed teaser photos of the upcoming sixth-generation Camaro. From exhaust tips to the dash frame, each new photo seemed to signal a new era for the beloved pony car. For me, it was reassurance and hope that Camaro would regain the top spot in a highly contested segment. With the (fairly) recent series of unveiling of substantially innovative designs from the general’s (GM’s) nemeses— in the form of the Hellcat and new Mustang— they had their work cut out for them; but I had complete faith that they would show-up with an entirely new Camaro and blow us away.

This morning, that hope was shattered by the leaked photos of the “sixth-generation” Camaro. I was so disappointed I don’t even know where to begin.

I suppose I’ll begin with the good, since it’s not all bad (barely). The front end of the redesigned Camaro is a success in my book. Yes, it looks like the front end Bumble Bee was sporting in the latest Transformers movie, as it should since it was a prototype for this car, and that is a good thing. The new front end, headlights and hood look very aggressive and are an enjoyable departure from the previous generation model. The car is reportedly substantially lighter than the previous generation, by 200 pounds, due to the extensive use of light-weight materials throughout the car. But I have to wonder, does Chevrolet really think someone is going to say to themselves “You say it’s lighter!? I need to get down to my dealership to buy one of these RIGHT NOW!” No. No one says that. It’s a nice feature, and one that enthusiasts will love and exploit, but it isn’t going to move Camaros off the lot. Hell, I’ll just keep driving my old Camaro and lose 10 pounds—same thing right? I think we all expected more weight savings than 200 pounds. 

Now for the bad, and the list is extensive. Considering the substantial build up to this car, I (and everyone I know) was expecting a ground breaking departure from the fifth-generation car. It makes me sick to say this, but I was hoping for the kind of change Ford brought to the table with its redesigned Mustang.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I’m supposed to be unbiased as a journalist, but as a car guy, I’ve always disdained Mustangs (and their pretentious owners who, in general, seem to be auto-illiterate posers). However, the new model is so good looking that I frequently see it in the wild and I can’t keep my eyes off of it. Now, back that up with a great interior and a substantial upgrade in its drive train and you have a winning combination that threatens to bury the Camaro in sales. It’s just like Cold Case Files…. It’s just like Cold Case Files (see Step Brothers for reference).

The teaser photos leading up to the sixth-generation Camaro frequently showed us a silhouetted rear quarter and roof line. This would lead you to believe that the new car has a completely different shape. Does it? Absolutely not. It appears to be about the same dimensions as the outgoing model. They also took a stab at redesigning the rear end and they missed… again.

The taillights on the fifth-gen were redesigned for the 2014 model year. They weren’t my favorite, but then again, the taillights on the newer Camaros have never seemed to get it right in my book. But now, instead of coming up with a new design or incorporating something retro, they chose to steal the lights off of the new Corvette. Go take a look at them and tell me they didn’t just hack them off of the Corvette and paste them on the Camaro. Maybe one of the designers was hungover and late for a presentation, so he just photoshopped the Corvette’s taillights onto the new Camaro and called it a day.

Every generation of the Camaro’s evolution before this were huge departures from one another. But this, this should be generation 5.1. Kind of like when they did a front-end redesign on the fourth-gen Camaro in 1998. I don’t see how this classifies as a “sixth-generation” Camaro, seeing as how the entire structure of the vehicle is virtually the same, despite being built on the brand's popular Alpha architecture. I was unaware that a slight redesign of the front and rear fascia, lightening the body and (most likely) a new interior constitutes an entire new generation.

Which brings me to my final point, the car is just so damn disappointing. Yes it will come with a direct-injected LT1, it will be lighter than ever and it will most likely be one of the best performing Camaros of all time; but I fail to see how it will succeed against very stiff opposition.

General Motors has disappointed me a lot lately (with the exclusion of the Corvette). Every other American brand has been taking risks and pushing boundaries, where GM hesitates unless someone has already established a market for them. They have no decent hot hatch, no desert-running Baja truck (unless you count one modified by Callaway) and now a second-rate muscle car. They killed off Pontiac just when the G8 was just starting to look amazing and replaced it with the SS; which is one of the most mundane looking high-performance cars of all time. The Dodge Charger is now, in my opinion, virtually unrivaled in the segment. 

GM just seems to miss the mark a lot these days even though their build quality and interiors are light years more advanced. Camaro seems to have fallen victim to this recurring theme of lack-luster design practices. Once the hype from the latest iteration of Transformers dies off, I’m not sure what motivation will be left to buy one.

Is this the beginning of the end for the marque? I don’t know. I hope not. But we’ve seen the Camaro disappear once before due to dwindling sales, and I can’t escape the feeling that we are headed for a similar extinction event. 

UPDATE: Jalopnik just release an internal memo giving even more detail about the new Camaro and shedding some light on concerns GM has about the vehicle, see it here.